School costumes - just say no

Thank God the season of festive school plays and 'activities' is finished. This term I have been mostly making a tin soldier's outfit (well actually my mother made this one), a Greek outfit (which unfortunately looked more like a Viking costume), a wonky hand-sewn star for the school Christmas tree - not to mention previous season's Tudor costume, Victorian schoolgirl, Viking sword and shield and, er, Tudor handbag. Now, I think what's going on is that the teacher - knowing my inability with handicrafts - has deliberately chosen my children for the most fiendishly difficult ensembles. Do they think I have nothing else to do in my life? Do they not realise, that like many other busy, busy mothers at the school, I have skirting boards to dust, a watch to wind, QVC to peruse and coffee mornings to attend. Not! Actually, I'm busy writing important features about shopping - check out my latest piece in the Daily Mail 'just what I never wanted' about the ghastliest presents ever. The most fun I ever had writing a feature in my entire journalistic career...